Laser of the Heart

Heart Songs, Note 24: Laser of the Heart

What would happen if…  we used the litmus paper at the center of our being, at the heart of our being, the heart of our soul, as our Geiger counter, inner radar, and navigational tool?  What if we consistently dared to follow the Divine urgings of our soul in all our actions in the world and in all our interactions with others?

We do this anyways, most of us, but we do it unconsciously.  And unconsciously it is our knee-jerk personality programs that most of us dial into.  Most of us as we run on automatic, myself included, react to whatever we perceive as being outside of ourselves, usually in some form of judgment, and then that focus on whatever it is outside becomes our reality.   We externalize the information we receive rather than using it to amplify our own light, heart and vibration.

What if we used the litmus paper of our soul’s heart center as a way to remind ourselves of who we are, so that when we perceive something that is in some manner in disharmony with that center of who we know ourselves to Be, that we use that information to fine-tune, upgrade, and turn up the flame of our own heart in compassionate understanding of whatever the outside stimulus was. Whatever happens ‘out there’, whether it is a stranger cutting in front of you on the road, someone you know saying something nasty to or about you… your house burning down, it’s really all the same:  all can be used as a prompt or cue to remember who we are – deep inside.  This does not mean that our perceptions may not be accurate.  However, to simply ride the wave of our perception into judgment, rather than using it as a reminder to come home to our center and upgrade our attunement, is a misuse of the gift of that perception.

I have just spent seven very interesting and very sacred weeks at the I.D.E.A.L. community just outside of Jaffary, B.C. (   I have had many reminders – mostly self-generated.

I.D.E.A.L. is a very brave and remarkable experiment in intentional communal living, a gathering together of over eight different nationalities — more if you include visitors — of 65 permanent residents ranging in age from a few months to 70+ years old.  French is the communal spoken language.  However, all these different languages, French, English, German, Russian, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Dutch, and while I was there Greek as well, are heard in daily readings.  The daily practice while these readings are happening is to attune to all the peoples of the world who speak these languages.  Song, through the sacred music of Beinsa Douno (and dancing the PanEuRhythmy) is the vibrational language and attunement of this community.  Singing accapela, with up to 7 different voice parts, in the Bulgarian language, which is one of the world’s primal attuned languages, is a daily practice.  Recorded classical music masters are broadcast daily; while live concerts happen one or more times a week.

Their spiritual framework is handed down to them by their Master:  Omraam Mikaiel  Aivanov, who was a disciple of Beinsa Douno.  Natacha Kolesar, Russian-born, a very intelligent woman of broad vision and huge heart is their current leader.  The over-all attunement of this community is far clearer than in the world at large.  And, although they have not yet evolved into Living the Golden Age on Earth, they do have a clear commitment to Heart which is very beautiful.

I was gifted seven weeks of ‘recovery’ time.  During my time at IDEAL I experienced Deep Rest for the first time since my house fire last November.  My burnt adrenals began their healing journey.  I routinely slept long hours, and included a one-to two hour daily time of deep silent meditation.   I also got to practice my viola on a regular basis – my one pure and constant link with my previous, pre-fire incarnation.  This in itself was healing for me.   I was served three vegetarian meals at day – except for their Fasting day, Thursday noon to Friday noon.

I was given immense Space to simply be Marianna and follow my own internal rhythms.  These rhythms took different forms as the weeks progressed.  What a privilege.  Thank You IDEAL!

My little RV with its solar hat served as my sacred and independent living space – until the clouds and the cold arrived in September, when I needed to plug in to their electricity and borrow a heater for the cold nights.

One of the visual pleasures of living in this community was that men and women alike dressed by the colors of the day:  gold for Sunday, Purple for Monday, Green for Friday,…  It is amazing to flow through ones day with all the various shades and textures of the day’s color (and often it’s opposite) reflected all around you through your own and others’ clothing color choices.  White, which reflects all the colors of the rainbow, was the default color of choice.

I was privileged to be included in their daily singing, and played in three concerts while I was there.   I played in a classical chamber concert for the first time in many years:  Mozart Violin duo, Beethoven serenade for flute, violin and viola, and the Nocturne from Borodin’s 2nd string quartet.  I accompanied Ashok Kumar by ear on three Indian songs he sang.  And I played with the Vera Chorus the last night I was there.

Whenever you gather that many people together they will naturally be at different stages in their own personal development – just as it is anywhere. My personal litmus paper was not as clearly differentiated on my arrival as by my departure.    I almost left during my first week. Now you need to know that I arrived there with the goal of creating this community as my new home.  I am a dual citizen (Us/Canadian) so re-turning home to Canada is a no-brainer, so I thought.  Whenever you are attached to any outcome, unless you are living in a unified field of consciousness, its opposite will make its presence felt immediately.  What I experienced (sensed, picked up) my first week was a sense of the deep individual loneliness, hurt, fear, pain, and discontent of individual members.  I realized later that it is the least evolved members in any community that will be the squeakiest wheels.  These very visible ones, amplified in me my own sense of separation and not-belonging.  I became, in me, the separateness I was feeling around me.  [Our unconscious patterns, aspects of our soul history we have not been yet able to bring into consciousness, will attract these opposites to ourselves anywhere any time to help us to wake up]  That first reactive week was my loneliest week there.  During that week I got sick with a urinary tract infection – that for many weeks, despite treatment, simply would not go away…  until I finally got to the root cause, in me, and let go.

While I was there, as a part of my discernment process I chose to re-read the Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda – available for free on Kindle I discovered!

By the last week, much as my mind had been attached to a different outcome, I was very clear that at least at the present time, I was not to stop here and make this community my home.  With this clarity a very interesting thing happened.  I simply arrived into what I will call my sovereign center.  I was totally at peace and in joy.  And, I emanated my soul vibration, which is unconditional love and total acceptance, without attachment, to what is.  As I was Living That which I Am, if someone asked me for help, I could, without thought or question, simply turn on a dime and be that, to meet their need.  Meanwhile, people were coming out of the woodwork wanting to spend time with me, and sharing of themselves.  I had the ‘aha’ experience in the middle of one night:  it is by how we Be the change we are seeking in the world that we indeed effect that change, not what we say or how we think.  I had expressed to Sister Natacha that my soul simply could not grock the hierarchical initiatic cosmology which she perceives to be how the world runs.  Our heart connection was strong, hence no argument, no disconnect, no separation, just two worlds meeting one another without cognitive agreement.  That was all.

I suddenly realized that the shift the planet is in, the warp or ascension into the 5th level of consciousness will be happening in exactly that manner – by those of us who have – at least for moments – recognized the vibration, simply being it. I believe it is thus that we will resonate with one another in the world into which we are morphing.  The new beings coming into the planet now, know it, and have not forgotten.

We are the Hundreth Monkey phenomena in action.  This time is happening not just in a few islands in the South Pacific, it is a global happening.  Welcome aboard.  Be that which thou art in the Center of your soul’s Being.

Just before I left one of the brothers gave me some information, which I have barely begun to skim, but it gives a way to be in living practice of the 5th dimensional heart connectedness on the planet.  In case you are interested, here is the URL:

Also, I happen to love Sufi stories.  The story of Mojud has been my guiding light for the past four years.  When I first heard it, I knew that the level of Trust and Presence it describes was how life was meant to be lived.  You can find it on-line through google.   If you want Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh’s magnificent commentary on the story, you can still find copies occasionally on

And this one too came to me.   Perhaps it is time for us all to drop our crutches.    ‘ Walk with a Crutch’:

A man once hurt his leg. He had to walk with a crutch.
This crutch was very useful to him, both for walking, and many other things.
He taught all his family to use crutches, and they became part of normal life.    It was part of everyone’s ambition to have a crutch. Some were made of ivory, others adorned with gold. Schools were opened to train people in their use, university chairs endowed to deal with the higher aspects of this science.
A few, a very few people, started to walk without crutches. This was considered scandalous, absurd. Besides, there were so many uses for crutches.
Some replied, and were punished. They tried to show that a crutch would be used sometimes, when needed; or that many of the other uses to which a crutch was put could be supplied in other ways.
Few listened.
In order to overcome the prejudices, some of the people who could walk without support began to behave in a totally different way from established society.
Still they remained few.
When it was found that, having used crutches for so many generations, few people could in fact walk without crutches, the majority `proved’ that they were necessary. `Here,’ they said, `here is a man — try to make him walk without a crutch. See? — He cannot!’
`But we are walking without crutches,’ the ordinary walkers reminded them.
`This is not true; merely a fancy of your own,’ said the cripples, because by that time they were becoming blind as well — blind because they would not see.

After I left IDEAL, I spent a couple of days with a soul-brother of mine, the founder and creator of  What a treat.  He designs and builds pre-fab round houses of very high quality.  Here is a man who is truly living his life to consciously serve, harvesting trees in an ethical manner, using green building materials, and creating works of art in which one can live into one’s life.  We had been corresponding for some time. This was the first time we had the privilege of meeting in person.  If you have an inclination to build round and wood is your building material of choice, I cannot recommend the sweetness and soundness and beauty of his homes enough.  By the way, Mandala Custom Homes is in Nelson, BC, known for the following three ‘mosts’:  most artists in North America; most millionaires, and most soccer players.  Nelson has had a steady population since the 70’s.

The entire part of at least south-eastern BC is the most graphic expression of glacier footprints I have ever experienced:  Long, very long scoured deep valleys, headed SW in direction, often with Very Long lakes at the bottom of them.  The Okanagan  Valley has two such long lakes going from Vernon, BC in the north to Penticton in the south.  It is also way warmer than where I was near Jaffray, BC, fruit and grapes everywhere – really very magical.  Had two lovely visits with old friends, one from Kingston, Ontario, the other from Toronto.

Back in the States now, the next chapter begins as I go en route to my nephew’s wedding.

Be well, my friend, inside and out.  Enjoy that juicy place in your heart.   Enjoy connecting with the juicy places in other people’s hearts.  Everyone is doing the best they know how.  Let our light shine.

The following arrived in my in box the other day.  I grew up seeing the iconoclastic e e cummings at the local grocery store in Silver Lake, NH.  How forward thinking he was:

love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds


About hartsongnotes

Healer, Musician, Adventurer, Open to what's Possible
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